A Bob Uecker-style eulogy, for Bob Uecker

He brought enjoyment to so many classic era baseball fans. This is for him, in that "great seat" in the sky.

When I hear the word “eulogy” I think of 2 things. One is how giving one is considered a most unselfish act, since it is one of the few things a person can never pay you back for. The other is from comedian Jerry Seinfeld, who talked about public speaking ranking higher on people’s fear list than dying. As Jerry said, this means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.

So as a tribute to one of the great sports, Bob Uecker, who left “the show of life” earlier this week, here’s a eulogy I wrote today in his memory.

Bob Uecker was a true student of the game. By that I mean he played like he always had a lot to learn.

He made his major league debut during the 1962 season. The same season that brought us the expansion NY Mets. The baseball lords do have a sense of humor.

And if you look at the site Baseball Reference, Bob’s page says “exceeded rookie limits in 1964.” Bob always interpreted that to mean that it was Ok for him to drink more than 8 cups of coffee before games. And it showed.

Because like they say, you play like you practice. How else do you explain how over-stimulated he was on the field?

No one was a bigger fan of baseball than Bob. And by that I mean THE baseball. Bob was a catcher, but he wasn’t like most catchers. You see, most of those guys behind the plate try to tell the ball what to do. They signal the pitcher how to throw it, and just as the ball is about to run free, they stop it with their glove.

Because he was a believer that the baseball should live free, as we all do in this country. So instead of trying to prevent the ball from reaching its potential, he’d led it go right on by, so it could choose its own path. Is there any better way to show how much you love the baseball?

Among his career highlights, we all remember 1967 as the year of the Redsox Impossible Dream, a season that fell just short of a World Series title. Bob’s St Louis Cardinals team won the series that year.

His leadership that season was undeniable. Yup, he led the league in passed balls that year, with 27.

And while Buster Posey committed 27 passed balls in more than 1,000 games, spanning an entire career, in 1967, Bob only needed 76 games to accomplish that feat. Sort of like how Babe Ruth only needed 154 games to reach 60 home runs. Kids, that’s a lesson in getting the important things done without a lot of wasted time, and you should remember that.

And speaking of the Great Bambino, They talk about Shohei Ohtani as being the modern Babe Ruth. But if you ask me, it was Bob Uecker.

Babe hit 714 home runs in his career. And if you take away that stupid, useless 7, Bob did too. He hit 14.

And, like the Babe before him, Bob spent a lot of time around beer. That happens when you spend your life at the ballpark. But Bob was a longtime announcer for the Brewers, so he was a natural fit for those classic Miller Lite commercials. And he palled around with the Milwaukee team’s mascot, Bernie Brewer.

So Bob and beer were a natural combination. And it is only fitting that we will remember his playing career as the guy who played like he’d just had a dozen beers before he walked out of the clubhouse.

So I ask you, who’s the modern Babe Ruth? For me, it will always be Bob Uecker.

Bob was a hitter. Not a good one, but they’ve never had a designated hitter for catchers, only for pitchers. In fact, a little known story about the teams Bob played for is that they lobbied Major League Baseball to have a DH for sub .200 hitters. But unfortunately, since Bob’s lifetime batting average was exactly .200, it never made into the rule book.

So here’s to the late, great Bob Uecker. Truly one of the game’s best. Not for what he did on the field, but how he made us love the game after he retired.

Classic Baseball World: for the kid in all of us

Classic Baseball World is about more than wins, losses, called strikes and passed balls. It is about honoring our heroes in the game, the people who helped raise us without even knowing it. And about connecting their skills, and especially their courage, to current and future generations of baseball fans, in the US and all around the world.

Bob Uecker is one of many baseball personalities we will honor here. My only regret is that we won’t get a chance to include him among the people in the game we can bring directly to this community. In writing and soon in audio and video form.

Here’s to your memory, Bob. May the beers you drink up there taste great, and be less filling.